blah.

So now that I've successfully reminded myself to blog today, I don't really know what I wanted to blog about. That's all right.  I'll remember after I ramble.

 Oh so the cockblocking. Someone-who-shall-not-be-named although some of you know cause I was whining about it during English yesterday, really pisses me off sometimes.  I mean, okay, he/she knows about Finland. And it seems like after he/she found it, he/she started to cockblock. No joke. After I told him/her, he/she started to insert himherself into our relationship. I give up saying heshe is getting annoying. She just started to like, for lack of better wording, "hog Finland." If that makes any sense at all.  She just keeps bugging him or whatever, and so voila. No way for me to talk to him or anything.  Seriously, at first I was like, oh it's just her personality; she's just like that. Very talkative,  likes to bully him/tease him etc. But now, it's totally got out of hand.  If she's blocking him from me, does that still count as cockblocking....? Haha. But yea, just whining now.

So I decided to ask Finland. Just because it really wouldn't hurt if I asked him as a friend, and even if he rejects me, it won't be a big deal simply because we're 'just friends.'  I just decided one day.  No particular reason; thought I'd man up and just ask him to prom already or I'd regret never asking.  I'll probably end up asking in February. After midterms. Or something like that.

Right. What else was I going to blog about...I seriously have no idea. Blanking. D= I have such terrible memory....

Oh so Christina drew an adorable picture of me in spanish today. Its soooo cute. I should take a picture of it sometime and put it as my FB picture. And then Sonya was like, "oh draw one of Finland too!" XD Its a pretty good picture though, despite him not holding much favor in her eyes ahaha. Sorry Christina, you have to put up with my shit =\  look i have super big eyes! ==\ lmfao

So someone texted me today and was like, "Just wondering, where do I stand?" As in, am I still pissed at him, is he "out of the doghouse" as he put it, or do I just not care whatsoever. So I said, he's really not out of the doghouse, and our 'friendship' really isn't going to go back to how it was before. Ed said ouch. Lol. I feel so mean, but I really want to distance myself from him. So he doesn't end up getting the idea that maybe I've totally forgiven him and we can be great friends again and he might still have a chance.  I mean, he might not think he has a chance considering I told him no, but he's the type to hope. He still hoped after I told him I like Finland over the summer. So I'm kinda being careful. I don't know. I hate dealing with drama.

Oh btw, if you haven't noticed, I've prettty much stopped using nicknames. No one following this blog is going to go and spill my secrets to the world, so I'm not afraid. I think. James said something on FB about people going to read his blog...Uh oh. =\ I just went back and took out his name. Just in case. Haha.

I realized that my communication skills suck. I was going to add another word, but I figured you guys wouldn't appreciate reading a very dirty-language post.  The reason my relationships have failed is my inability to talk to the guy. Really. If I'd simply talked to Jason, things woulda been pretty okay. I mean, I'm pretty sure our relationship was heading towards breakup eventually, as mean as that sounds, we really werent that compatible; I knew virtually nothing about the rest of his personality.  But things would have worked a little better.Yea, my communication skills suck majorly.

So he-I-call-the-asshole just texted me saying he feels like I'm still mad, sorta like how someone stays made when someone tries to cheer them up just to spite the other person. Seriously? Dick. I'm not spiting anyone. I'm honestly pissed. That joke went way too far, and any person could have, should have seen that. There goes any progress he made. He just pissed me off again. I admit that I'm a teen- I do do stuff like that to spite people. But to stay mad for so long at someone simply to get back at them? That's not me.  So why am I still mad? Because  he played this kind of a joke and expected to be forgiven. I don't mean he should have begged on his hands and knees, I mean he shouldn't have such confidence that our relationship will work out in the end. I dont' know. Maybe my anger is unjustified. Maybe my grudge is somewhat unjustified. But that's how I feel, and he just blew any chance of me forgiving him anytime soon. Good job, dickhead.

Wow. I spend more time fuming about him than I do talking about Finland. Congrats, asshole. You've taken over my life.

Ah, NJSFLC tomorrow! =D FBLA stuff. fun fun...workshops all day. >< but at least we miss school! ^o^ \o/ RAWR BANG CRASH SLAM BOOM.  I just felt like doing that.

I have mood swings.  If you take a look, its like,  GAH RAWR. lovey dovey lovey dovey yayayayay! GRAWR. HATE HATE HATE GAH SNARL GROWL SHOUT. yay fbla haha yipeeeee!

Yes? I have issues. Am I bipolar....!?!?!?! Man. hahaha.

Kudos to Jude for being really awesome. Kudos to the sophomores cause you're all following each other on blogs, so I found you all! =D Hahah dorothy and kaiwen =P I'm not stalking, I swear!

Oh so a few days ago, I texted Finland and was like, "good luck tomorrow! =)" and then he responds with, 'haha thx how did you know" So I told him a friend was telling me about it. So then I think a couple days ago, I texted him again about something...oh he was asking about midterms and told me about his bros comm service or something, and then i was like, wait dont you do something at san dol? and he was like, "how did you know o.O" or something along those lines. XD I seem like such a stalker. but then he was like, 'did i tell you?" and i was like, yea i think so. plus lilly told me about it. i'm not stalking you! XD So he was like, hahahahah okay. and then I forget where the convo led to. But yea. =)

See I've totally got moodswings. Dude he needs to stop sending me novels. Its a fucking pain in the butt to piece together.  Seriously.  who sends texts that overflow into like 7 separate texts?!

Yes I must be bipolar or suffer from major mood swings. Moving on.

Coops said today that she's been happy with my essays so far this year! =D I'm just really scared now cause that'll probably jinx me now and I'll fail the next paper. T_T hahaha i'm soooo paranoid. toooo paranoid.

I'll shut up here because now I'm really talking about nothing.

But first, do you guys think I'm totally overreacting and making this huge thing outta something thats' not such a big deal? Gimme thoughts, any thoughts on this stuff. Its eating at me.

Tiff out!