Just turn around, come back

because your smile is overdue.

"The Hardest Thing" Tyler Ward

That kid is seriously awesome.

Yes, it was the weird semi-formal dinner; that went well, and then after he dropped me off at home and went home to change, he came back over to watch Warrior with me =)

Now it's time for me to flip out and freak out because I have a math exam tomorrow and its freaking weird and we didnt learn some of it with mr. phil.

=)

Had a good date =)

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

But the very next day, you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears,
I'll give it someone special.


"Last Christmas"


Back in good old Champaign!  Haha, finally!  I'm actually goin to be productive for the first time this break.  I'm sitting on my bed, with my laptop and notes pulled up on word, and my handwritten notes right beside me.


Let's see if I'll end up being productive hahaha.  I better.  I have a shitton this week, I just realized, because this is the last full week before finals start, and pretty much nothing's gonna get done in class next week.


I can't believe my semester is practically over.  8 days left, one reading day, 6 days of finals. But i only have 3 out of those 6 days taken =)


This is crazy.  This is awesome.  I love college.


Time to go kill myself over how much shit I need to do and a relationship to juggle.


My dad gave me a relationship talk on the drive up this morning.  very very awkward. hahahahaha.


-----


HELP. We're going to a...semi-formalish restaurant Tuesday (his pick not mine) and they said, "While dining at Timpone's you will feel most comfortable in either proper or business casual."  


....I dont know how expensive this restaurant is, well, a review said the price range is decent, $11-$30, and I'm seriously freaking out.


Is it normal to go out to such a..."high-end" restaurant so early?!


I sound stupid. hahahahaha.

Carry the wounded and shut your eyes

Into the nothing
Faded and weary
I won't leave and let you fall behind.
Live for the dying
Heaven hear me,
I know we can make it out alive.

"Into the nothing" Breaking Benjamin

Back to Champaign tomorrow!!! =D =D I seriously can't wait.  There is nothing to do here, and I get so much more done there than here because here = relaxing place to be meaning nothing gets done.

Hope you all had awesome breaks, and to the rest of the college attenders, good luck on finals! =)

Seasons come and go

But I will never change

"Written in the Stars" Tinie Tempa ft Eric Turner

----

This has been a really unproductive, really good break. hahaha.  I hope you all ate lots and went into food comas and had food babies =) hahahaha. That sounds horrible.

But I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgivings and possibly Black Friday shopping!

Hahaha, well.  I still have no idea what's going on. Soooooooooooo I'll update you.

=)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Happy Turkey Day everyone =)

I'm definitely really thankful to know all of you; you guys are awesome people and even awesomer friends =)

Eat lots, get fat, and be happy =D Hahaha

And sleep lots after all that food ^_^

See you guys soooooon!!!

MRSA.

Aha.  Yea, I'll take my antibiotics like the doctor told me to.  I can't promise I won't create a new strand of MRSA though...currently trekking through a hospital like 2x a day.  Cause my dad takes me through it. ><

Um, I guess most lights do?  But they're not going to track you down and be like OMG YOU RAN A RED LIGHT.  Just try not to do it often?

I don't find guys everywhere! Well, I guess I do.  Cause if I didn't, I'd be living in an all-female world and I can't take that.  But anyways.

I was gonna say something and then I realized I'd be gushing and then the oooooooooohhhhhhhh's would start. Something like that.

ENJOY YOUR BREAK MONTVILLIANS =D

Last night was awesome.  After dinner and after posting, I plopped down on my bed.....and promptly passed out.  Until like 10pm, and I woke up and was like, oh maybe I should changeinto pjs and stuff so i did and i went back to sleep. YUS.  Awesomeness.
But I had to wake up today at 530 so I guess not so awesomeness, but still =D

-----

I feel like a little kid with money and about to get candy when I talk to Emil.  I'm so giddy and happy and excited and its embarrassing.

That's all.

D=

Haha apparently there was ambiguous wording...? I thought my edit was kinda clear though =( guess not haha

Nothing's happening.  No joke.

Besides me getting really insecure, but thats a me thing.

MY DAD'S NEIGHBOR.  Is not only pretty good looking and young, he also hunts. with a bow and arrow. and shotgun.


^immediate idol.


Haha.  Seriously though, I met him this morning and I'm like WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

So I've been kinda sick lately, yea? Just a cough.
I go to the doctor today cause the parents are like OH NO WHAT HAPPENS IF ITS PNEUMONIA AGAIN AND YOU HAVE FINALS WHEN YOU GET BACK TO SCHOOL.
So it's some type of infection in my throat.  All good.  5 days of antibiotics is supposed to clear it up.

Am I clingy?
I dunno.
I hate being insecure.
End of story hahaha.

My heart is pounding in my chest

I was gonna put another song here, but I'm too lazy to go find it's lyrics because I just heard it yesterday, and so *insert song*

Haha.

Ed, he accepted. LOL.

And my heart was literally pounding in my chest a couple minutes ago. Lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Time to study. Sorta. Hahahaha. Oh man, studying during break.  Let's do this ><

--------------

*edit*

hahaha, nothing happenedddd goshh haha.  No seriously, nothing's happened.  We both know its a mutual attraction but nothing's happening.  I dont know if I should be glad he's not making a move and is respecting the "moving too fast" part of this since we've only known each other for about 3 week? or if I should be frustrated.

Lost my voice

Pretty much completely. hahaha.

Skyped with Emil last night for like forever, it was a lotta fun =)

speaking of which, I NEED TO SKYPE WITH YOU BESTIE AND VAL. IM GOOD LIKE, WHENEVER SO TELL ME WHENNNN

=)

Home sweet home

I'm hooooome.

Time to be bored outta my mind and resort to studying because finals are in 2 weeks and i'm sooooo screwed.

Yesterday was lots of fun =) He says he had fun making dumplings and stuff, so thats good.

The internet here sucks.

oh well. The internet at my dad's work is so much faster. =D

I am currently eating M&Ms.  Yumm.
And my dad has the heat on so low here.  Soooooooo cold and I didn't bring a sweater here...though I can now go through all the clothes I left here =D

=)

today was fun =) =)

I go home tomoorroowwwwww

My bajillion notes.

I'm very sorry for spamming your newfeeds XD

I was just trying really hard not to get around to doing my paper WHICH IS 100% COMPLETED BTW. BEFORE 5PM THE DAY BEFORE IT'S DUE.  IT'S A FREAKING MIRACLE.


So yes.  Now I'm cramming for my biology exam tomorrow.

FindingNemo/LoL/making dumplings hang out tomorrow! =D

I need to find time to pack my bags and stuff before they come over tomorrow...crap.
Shit I have a quiz in calc tomorrow too.  I'm sooooooooooo screwed for that....

Right.  Back to cramming I go.

New habit

Called "Let's blog at crazy am times."

Isn't this fun?Hahaha.

@Val: I don't think I've changed too much, maybe a bit more self-confidence, but yea I'm definitely rethinking ROTC.  I dont really wanna do all the physical work..but I do have to ask them about health careers in the army and stuff since that's a path I'm seriously considering.

I'm so hungry.

So my productivity levels increase as it gets later.  So it's apparently too early for them to kick in so I'm blogging to try and "warm up" haha, yay Scoops.

It's Thursday.  Hurry up and pass to after 4pm.

Nothing really to blog.  Maybe I'll write about what happened today later haha.


I think really my point of blogging all the time is just to let you peeps know I'm still alive.  I'm so far away and I do wonder about people I haven't seen/talked to in ages, so this is just my way of keeping ya'll updated and knowing I'm alive and kicking and doing well.  So don't feel bad, Bestie =)

I em upppppppppppppppp

Like a balloon in the skyyy

Not really.  I'm just really up at 3am because I napped from 7-9pm since I was really really tired and couldn't do jack, and then so I woke up and drank a frappuccino because I needed the caffeine, and now I'm kinda up even though that was HOURS ago I think I'm so awake because its past 1/2am which is when I get reaaaaally tired and I got SUPER productive in the last 30 minutes because I switched to a different part of my essay, the analysis part so I got like, over a page typed up no sweat but now I worry if that's really supposed to be in the analysis part or the introduction part because my TA seems really serious and I'm afraid she'll be a harsh grader or something and then I'll be fucked because I'm not sure I'll do as well on the final as I did on the midterm, and so now I'm really freaking myself out and its 3 am and I should probably be sleeping soon because I have class at 9 and I have to be up at 0730 but I'm really freaking awake and kinda on a roll with this stupid paper.

Sorry.  That was a stream of consciousness, practice for Beloved, my lovely seniors, if you have Scoops and she didnt yank that book.

I promised I wouldn't sleep too late.  Oops.  A bit more and then I'm heading to bed.  Almost at my goal of 2.5 pages today =)  I blog a lot I realized that.  Probably because I really don't have much better to do.  Wow now that sounds kinda pathetic.

@Kaiwen: hahaha yea he's white. Azerbaijan to be more specific.

I was SO PRODUCTIVE AT 230 ISH.  I have like 4 pages of my paper done now, but i have a lot of writing left, and its 5 max, so we'll have to cut and go down to 1.5 spacing and widen margins maybe.  Wow. I feel kinda proud of myself.  But I can't because I need to REALLY finish the whole thing tomorrow night. Definitely.

*edit

This morning sucks.  My tiredness level is like 50 million.

My grades are probably going downhill.

It always happens when boy drama takes over my life.

@Kaiwen: haha I'm glad you can live the college life through us XD I have too much drama goin on in my life though.....

Anyways, nothing has changed, besides the fact that its TUESDAY and BREAK IS SOON.  And I have to mail out my dad's birthday card.

Emil's coming over Friday night; we'd planned to watch Finding Nemo, and then I realized my roommates and our mutual Chinese friends are planning a get together at our place that night, to make dumplings and stuff.  Oops.  So then I was like, wanna come along? And he agreed, and then we'll...maybe watch Finding Nemo or end up playing League of Legends. LOL.  >.<

But yea, lets hope nothing comes up.  Dude, yesterday when this went down, I was like freaking out and really pathetic and like a little girl with a schoolgirl crush again.  Well, I guess that's what this is, but seriously, man.  But yea, he gets to meet the "family" here and make dumplings with us.

I
Am shooting an M16 next semester.  I'm so freaking excited.

I should probably get around to asking about ROTC stuff or what the path for a health prof in US defense looks like.

It amazes me how many singers smoke and still have great voices.  That should not be.

Pattern in names again.
This is gonna be a long week....

This world is screwed up.

Just read an article about how a 13yr old boy raped a 5 year old girl in the McDonald's playpen. What.  Seriously, the world is going downhill by the second, and it's getting to the point where I wonder what God is planning for us.

Haha @Val, I promise I won't.  Or I'll do my best to prevent it...Pepper spray is always nice. Or lots of keys.

Or next time I'll just take Emil up on his offer to send me home after.  He texted me at 1am to ask if I would need a ride home after the party, and was still up at 340 am when I texted him to tell him I was home and someone sent me home.

Or maybe I shouldn't be trusting him so much? dunno. lol.

I'll probably be MIA for a bit this week, got an IB exam friday and an Econ paper due that day too..
Thank goodness Jason bought us a ton of frappacino mocha things.  We have a whole shelf in the fridge.

Oh god my bio prof just pulled up a huge picture of a spider. ugh.

LAST FRIDAY NIGHTTTTT

I went out with Emil.  Haha, we watched 50/50 and the movie theater screwed up at first so they were playing Real Steel.

I cried.

Emil laughed at me after XD  And both of us were soooooooooooo hungry our stomachs were growling during the movie. ooooops.

Oh man.  This is so frustrating haha.  This whole dancing around each other thing, not sure if he likes me or not, not sure if he thinks of me just as a friend, etc etc.  Ugh.

And then last night, marching band party, and they can party.  Like, 5/6 of the people were obviously affected by alcohol.

I went with Ryan...and I danced with a guy for the first time.  I dont know if he thinks i'm attracted to him..hopefully not.  Hopfeully he's just looking for a friend.  When I met his friend Robby he was like, oh. Nice to meet you.  Oh. OH. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  And then he proceeds to look from me to Ryan and i'm like WTF IS GOING ON.

But apparently he thought I was his gf or something or someone else.

I did not get drunk or tipsy last night, because I had only 3/4 cup of jungle juice, and then multiple cups of water afterwards, and this was over the span of 4 hours.  But apparently I must have good tolerance for alcohol, because after Ryan finished 3/4 cup of jungle juice, he was loosening up.

Yea......

Jungle juice tastes good only if its chilled.

Decisions, decisions...

I'm gonna be freaking busy this weekend, and I'm beginning to wish I weren't going to the football game.  It's gonna take up too much of my time....

So I started LoL with Emil.  Yes, I hear cheering and booing.  I'm sorry, I think Im gonna get hooked.  Eventually. It's starting lol.

So I told pool dude to back off.  He doesn't really get it, but gets it.  So let's hope he backs off. Otherwise I'm taking Emil up on his offer to talk to him XD

Yes, recurring pattern of names....I'm sorry ><

Not yet in wuuuuvvvvvvv =P

I just drank frappuchino (sp?) mocha from starbucks, well half a bottle anyways, so I dont know how much caffeine/coffee is in that thing but its GOOD and I'm kinda awake.

Ryan invited me to a marching band party on Saturday night.  I'm pretty sure it'll be a normal party...just with marching band people, who apparently pretty cool.  I met one when I was meeting up with Ryan, or ran into the marching dude really, but he seems like a cool person.  I guess?

oh ew its -3 C out.  Ugh.

So I don't know if I should go because I'll only know Ryan, but I can't bring Emil along either, because its a guy who invited me....

Yea, thats my update. Haha.

ESS CUEE ELLLLLLL

Haha. No idea.  My SQL (something for computer science) book is sitting next to me because I thought I'd be productive tonight and actually study.

Though being the most productive at the moment would be to find my freaking econ article and start writing my paper, but shhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Met up with Emil to get J-net tix.  It's this japanese culture club here, and they've got lots of little sections, dancing, fashion, etc.  And they're holding a show this Sunday, and since Rebecca's part of the dancing crew, we're going to support her (me and Ellie I mean) and Emil's apparently friend's with the web organizer person girl, and she's like GOOOOO.  And so we went together on a hunt to find the "Vending Room" in the Union and I found it because I'm short and I look up all the time.  I'm not kidding. Hahahaha.

Then we proceeded to waste the next hour I had before class at 3 by walking around campus, stopping in at Panera to grab food cause he hadn't eaten since 9 am, and then Gamestop where we attempted to play the PS3 in there, but it wasn't plugged in. C'MON. Oh well.

So then we walked around campus for a while.  And then I had class.  And then I came home and did nada. Hahahaha.

But I DID clean my room!  It looks sooooooooooo neat now haha, and CLEAN AND EMPTY.  Yay!

Going to Taco Bell for the first time in my life in around 15 minutes, haha.  And getting my football ticket for this weekend =D  Too bad Emil can't make it....I was gonna have 3 tix haha.  He goes OH PICK ME PICK ME when I said I was trying to find people to go with me...but he goes grocery shopping Sat mornings/afternoons with his bro sooooo. Oh well.

Time to learn a little LoL from him before I leave in 10 minutes lol.

Alive

What if I told you that I think you're perfect?
Beautiful sky in your eyes, it's so worth it.
I know you make me feel alive.

What if I told you that I'm in forever?
Nothing to hide, yeah, I'll go wherever you go.
You make me feel alive.

And I'll be hanging on every word you say to me.
Hanging on a feeling that I get,
Cause you make me

Laugh a little louder
Love a little harder.




"Alive," Adelitas Way


-------


No idea if you people have heard of them, but they're pretty good =) coughmagicalpineapplecough.  They're a bit like Breaking Benjamin =)




I'm in Econ. Like I always am when I start to blog haha.  Dinner last night was nice; Ryan's like, a bit awkward, but it's adorable.  And he's a marching band geek XD  He also apparently lives down the freeway from my dad hahahaha.


And nooo, I'm not.  It just happens that I hung out with three dudes in 4 days.  Gosh.  Hahaha. I've run out of things to say. I'm going to pay attention now XD

Officially VERY VERY creeped out.

So he texts me this morning (we shall now refer to him a pool guy) at 9:30 in the morning. "You awake yet?"

...
whut.
SO CREEPED OUT.

And last night at like 11pm he goes, "wanna go to gamestop?" ....whuuuut.  I mean, yea some game was coming out BUT YOU DON'T ASK A GIRL WHO BARELY KNOWS YOU TO GO OUT TO GAMESTOP AT 11PM AT NIGHT.

Especially him. He scares me.

Anyone else...I might go.  But I was already showered and in my pjs and comfy so at that moment probably not. Lawl.

Though I could take him if I had to, I think.  If not.....NUT SHOT AND RUN.

@Val: only like...3....including pool dude.  But we're not so 2. Maybe.  The other two seem like awesome people.  But then again so did pool dude until now....

YES BESTIE. RUN AWAY. Omg.

@Ed: hahahah, well...I guess I won't be.  But I still don't want a short dude....if he's like 5'8" and I'm only 5' OUR BABIES WILL BE LIKE MIDGETS. LIKE ME.

Right.  Well.

This is going to take a toll on my finals.  Boooooo.

RESPONSEEEE

Haha second blog of the day to respond to everyone looooooooool.

He's a history major, so yup, east asian civilization =)  Well, I'm pretty sure he's 8" taller...hahaha.

I told him about the ADD HIM ON FACEBOOK I WANNA STALK comments, and he laughed.  And offered to add on facebook, but he says he doesn't have many picture or much on his fb in general.  So we'll see =)

And I guess it would be kinda uncomfortable...but I think I still prefer tall people haha.  Probably mostly because I don't want my kids to be super short XD

Ah, I'm not in Chicago, about 3 hours away?  And it definitely rains in Chicago.  I think.  Hahaha.

So the dude who taught me pool is like.  Really persistent.  So yesterday he goes, wanna grab lunch tomorrow?  And i'm like, sorry, already have plans to get lunch with someone else.
Then today, he goes, "wanna grab lunch tomorrow?" and i'm like, sorry, i'm going off campus for volunteer orientation.  So then he goes, "how about dinner?" and i'm like, "sorry got plans with someone else already."
And he goes, "who's this guy? same guy you had lunch with today?"

(I dont know if it's just the way I read it, but it started to sound really possessive....)

And then I"m like, no, a different guy.  ANd he's like oh.

And then he's like, we'll i'll definitely catch you this week.  So i say, hahaha i dont know about that...pretty busy.
So he goes, "then definitely this weekend."

Right.

Really really persistent.  He's a cool guy, but I feel like he's going for a relationship...or is that just me?

edit.
HE'S ADDED. STALK AWAY.

edit2
HE'S ADDED BUT HAS SECURITY SETTINGS SET SO YOU CANT SEE HIM. I'M SORRY.
If you message me privately i'll send you a picture of him =)

I'll keep ya'll UPDATEDDD.

Coming up:
dinner with another guy. hahhaahaha.  and movies friday night =) with the guy from today. his name is emil if I didnt' say so before....

Lalala.

So I went out to lunch with a guy I met last week; he's pretty awesome haha.  He's....I have no idea what his nationality is it starts with an Aber_____ i think?, but he's lived in the US for like 15 years, so most of his life.

What a small world, Ellie has class AND discussion with him for some East Asian Civilization and culture class.

And before some of you go "oooooooooooooooooo" No it was NOT a date.  At least I dont think so, haha.

Just finished taking an IB exam, hopefully it went well? I can't afford to do worse than last time XD I can only drop one grade =(

Ew. The final in that class is worth 175 points.  URgh.

It's also super rainy and gross out today.  But thats okay.  Meeting Emil was fun. LOL. We walked right past each other and looked at each other and moved on.  And then both of us were like WAIT BACKTRACK HI.

I realized 5'9 isn't really that tall.... I think he's 5'9" anyways?  Hahahahaha.  Moving on.  I'm off to watch a show before rehearsal...

The things....

people say. LOL.

I made some new friends, and I hung out with one of them today from like 5 to 9 ish.  He taught me how to play pool ( I kinda really suck) and then we went to Pizza Hut and explored campus a bit.  We went to his dorm after dinner though so he could drop off the leftovers, and then apparently some dudes on his floor saw us, and after he got back after seeing me home, he says like everyone on his floor was like DUDE DID YOU GET LAID?!

Haha.  THe people in this world are funny.

I shall attempt to sleep earlier, but apparently some people have a knack for IMing me when I'm about to sign off, and I wanna talk to them so I end up staying up.  Instead of going SHUT UP I'M GOING TO BED.  Yea.

Haha.

Paintballing tomorrow!!! So excited =D  I dunno if any other girls are going (it's for my dorm), but hopefully i'm not the worst player there.

People are jumping up and down upstairs.  THe pounding on the ceiling is getting....annoying.

I is hungry.  I has lost weight.  I needs to swim and run an get in shape.  I is thinking about joining ROTC next year.  THought I'd throw out some of my thoughts.  I probably really need sleep hahahaha.

But seriously, the people I'm meeting are really nice.  Albeit some of these guys are really smooth talkers, but they're really nice people.  I think.  I don't know them well enough yet.

Speaking of people, the dude from today showed me our undergrad library has  A GAMING SECTION. TV, SOFAS, CONSOLES. AWESOMENESSSSS.

I need to buy myself a ps3 one day.  when I get a job.  Or something. Hahahaha.

Why am I up at 3am?

Oh yea, because a million people IMed me when I was about to sign off, and I'm too nice to say "Shut up, I'm going to bed."

Also because they're pretty interesting people.

Haha, I'm probably making a really bad mistake, but let's hope I'm not.

Why the hell am I up.

At least I'm getting a bit of econ done...

MWF

I hate mondays. and wednesdays. and fridays. why?
because i have to get up early
and my cs and econ are ridiculously boring.

even with my laptop.

wutt.

i need to get more sleep. i cant wait until next semester though the worldload is probably gonna be hell.

im seriously falling asleep. have fun you montvillians back in school. Ha.  lolol.  how many inches of snow did you guys end up getting? hope everyones warm and safe and has internet or electricity etc

Huh.

I have a CS midterm in 3 hours. I am really not read if this practice test says anything, and instead I'm still really not working.  Because I feel like I can't study anymore and then this stuff comes along and effs me over.

Luigi pics are on my fb lawl.  I look stupid hahahahahaha.

I will add to this post (hopefully) after my exam.

Tataaaa

-----------------
It's 630 and I'm ridiculously nervous for this exam.  Possibly even more nervous than Econ.  I hope that means I'm somewhat ready for it.  FML.

-----
It was okay. ish. I think. I hope. ARgh.

I need to go swimming.  I need to get in shape. Blah.

Andmy eye needs to stop hurting all the time. Stupid contacts.