my life?

I have no life.

Honestly.

Ask me where I've gone all break.

(Where have you gone all break?)

Nowhere.

Ask me what I've accomplished since I last posted.

(What have you done?)

Abso-freakin-lutely NOTHING people would call an..."accomplishment."

But for me. HELL YES I HAVE.

My life this break= combatarmscombatarmscombatarmscombatarmscombatarmsmoviemoviemoviemoviemoviecombatarmscombatarmsweirdconversationswithafroshieomgpopomgpopcombatarmscombatarmscombatarms.

I typed that whole thing out. I'm proud of it.

Surprisingly...I don't know if I'm really improving.  Of course the gun makes a HUGE difference.  I kept dying with that default gun they give us? I bought an ak-47 cause I couldnt get my G3 (sobsobsob) and then died a million times still, and then discovered (thanks to kuris tophly) that the STARTERPACK GIVES ME A FAMAS. Which is a helluvalot more accurate. So i managed to improve my kill/death ratio by a bit. The awesomest part? I GET THE FAMAS FOR SEVEN DAYS. Meaning I'll be playing a shitload of Combat arms for the next 5-6 days. Depending on when that gun expires.

I'm so obsessed.

RYAN LOCHTE. Dude, Mpinapples, SHE DOESNT STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM. NONSTOP. SAVE ME. Just kidding. I love that frosh. She's just....very odd. Hope your swimming practices arent killing you!!! =O

And to everyone else: I hope you guys have had an AWESOME break.  College apps are ALMOST DONE FOREVER =) Hang in there!  Happy Almost-New Year!

I should perhaps get some work done after I publish this post.  work, combat arms. work, combat arms...hmm.....
Yea I'll figure that one out later.

Peace!
XOXOXO

SNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

YES. ITS SNOWING. FINALLY.

Why couldn't the clouds have thrown up white flour over the earth on a school day? Sheesh.

BUT SNOWWWWW =D =D =D

and

I'M (finally) DONE WITH COLLEGE APPS. YESSSSSSSSSSSSS.

But now theres a bajillion frickin scholarship things to do. BOO. and midterms to study for. and classes to not fail. ew.

but
YES. ITS BREAK. COMBAT ARMS HERE I COME.

I need better connections to multiplayer servers. SOOOO slow. not even kidding. by the time i join the map, half the battle is OVER.

anyone playing is welcome to join me. i created a new username so i dont die horribly when i play cause my old rank limits me to playing with my rank and higher.
But now i fail. so back to trainee it is!

ID: 11tl821

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AGAINST BOTH PAR HILLS AND PAR HIGH.
HA.
IN YOUR FACE PARSIPPANY!

on a side note, i ran into areta and jesse (chinese school) and spotted jenny s. from orchestra/piano, and mark.

FUCK YES. WE KICK ASS.

 

Closer to the Edge

What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?

What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do?

Come break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?

You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you

Come break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you

Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside

Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am

Come break me down
Marry me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you

Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

Come, break me down
Break me down
Break me down

What if I wanted to break?
What if I, what if I, what if I
Bury me, bury me

"The Kill (Bury Me)" 30 Seconds to Mars

I don't  remember if MPinapple posted that one before...
But after 500yd-loving Girl told me about "closer to the edge" I fell in love with them.
=)

I remember Josh has The Kill, so that's why they sounded really really familiar...

Anyways. This week is gonna suck. Lots. Soooooo much to do in the next 3 days. i don't know why I'm blogging. I should be studying for math. I get the rleated rates thing..i'm not so great with implicit differentiation though...

Life is a bitch. Seriously, we can't make puppies. SO STOP.

Amazing how we got so far, yea?

I don't believe I'm making much sense.

Jesse M. has something against me. thanks to him (and hockey), I have a puck shaped bruise on my upper thigh. not fun. And my left big toe is in pain. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU. WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST ME.

I'm gonna give all my secrets away.

Wouldn't that be nice? No hiding, no fake smiles, no pretending? Just me. no layers, just stripped down to the core.

But this is a man eat man world. I'd be eaten in a heartbeat.
So sorry, OneRepublic, I can't.

...i learned somethign new today

apparently i mumble to myself. like shinji from prince of tennis. but i dotn think to that extent. and i'm not aware of it.

either that, or my mom and i have a misunderstanding.

but apparently my cousin says i do that too.

i really don't believe it. do i seriously mumble and in the mumbling put myself down?
i need feedback guys lol
do i seriously talk/mumble to myself ????

apparently it snowed????

HAPPY THANKGIVING EVERYONE!!! =D =D

I'm super thankful for having all of you as my friends!  And getting to know some of you better this year!

So eat lots, but don't kill yourselves.
If you like turkey, enjoy it!  If you don't (like me)....ENJOY YOUR SUBSTITUTE CHICKEN. or whatever else you eat instead haha!

So if you're too school for cool

Hahaha

So as many of you know as I was whining about it all day, a new kid transferred in. He's a sophomore...I think.  Anyways I met him over the summer during a quartet job for Dr. Fried's welcoming party.  Alex is Dr. Cortellino's son.  anyways.  So he took care of the quartet, etc...and told me he was possibly going to transfer to MTHS this year. So i was like, cool!

And then promptly forgot that bit.

So today I ran into him at the guidance office before school..and looked him straight in the eye, gave him a little smile cause I do that whenever I meet someone's eyes, and then on with my business.  I was like, oh he looks reallllllly familiar.  Must be from the musical every year... and that just kept bugging me cause I couldn't place him.  And then when we walked out together and he went one way and I went the other...it hit me like a ton of brick.s OF COURSE. And then I wasn't sure if his name was Alex so I didn't know what to do.  So I felt stupid and mean for the rest of the dday....until i ran into him in front of the swimming bus.  He was looking for Rte 13, wchih i have noooo idea what bus that is.  And then told him the buses are over there (showed him where) and said BYE SEE YOU TOMORROW and jumped on the swimming bus. Lmfao. I'm so mean. I just...ditched him.  I feel terrible.  Thats okay. I'll run into him again and properly introduce MTHS to him...or somethign. I dunno. hahaha poor kid..

Man, his hair was sticking up and all instead of slicked back so I was like, he loooks reallllllyy familiar. No shit. Anyways..it could probably also have been partly due to i saw him all dressed up and snazzy in his suit, but today he was in like..flannel and jeans and wild hair and all. Interesting kid.

Mini rant: I HATE THE WAY SOME BOYS SWAGGER AROUND LIKE THEY CAN WALK HOWEVER SLOW THEY WANT. I got stuck behind like two of them today in my rush to get to my locker at the end of the day so I wouldn't miss the swimming bus. ugh. Just my opinion..i tend to walk pretty fast.

Anyways. Stats quiz/test thing tomorrow..I wil definitely fail.  And i gotta do some stupid spanish story...and then Macbeth essay! yay. loverly. ew. Ugh. I complain too much.

PS. I honestly don't think Finland and me will work out.  1. I don't know all his sides; he acts totally different with me. 2. We barely talk anymore, and before, when we did, it really wasnt..significant.

I will ponder on more reasons. But even though we might match...we don't quite..click. Properly. I dunno how to describe it.  And I kinda feel like..I don't even plan to think about having a serious serious relationship with him at all in the future. Probably like, a relationship, but not one that I would expect to last very long or anything.  I don't think I could stand the fact that he cares so little for school and how he's so relaxed.  Even though thats sorta what I want to balance out my freakouts and my obsession with school..I don't need it to his extent.  He's smart, yea, but he just doesn't work, and that kinda bugs me sometimes.  Not to mention how disrespectful he can be.  I dunno. Maybe I just don't know him well enough.  I sound so pessimistic.  Sure, I like him...but I wonder if we would even work.  He's so much more open with everyone else...coughmargaritascough. Well maybe not open..but possibly more relaxed talking to them.  I honestly think he just treats me like a noona.

Depressing thoughts.

Well off to study stats...so I don't pull a freakin allnighter. Ugh. I have piano tomorrow. ew. T_T

Off to cry in the corner and guzzle down mountain dew so i can stay awake....

T_T

"So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never never be
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty
Dirty little freaks
Won't you come on, and come on, and
Raise your glass
Just come on and come and
Raise your glass."
-"Raise Your Glass," P!nk

Coach is stupid. Coach needs to get whacked upside the head.
T_T our attempt to save people failed.
Coach sucks.
I get where he's coming from..but still. =\

So I didn't totally fail math..but I didn't do as well as I wanted to. So my grade in calc is ehhhhhhhhh.
I'm so scared to check genesis and find out my final spanish grade. XD

I've been feeling blahhhhhh-like these last few days...T_T I think I overstressed myself. i do this all the time. Like, last year after midterms, i got soooo sick with fever and all with major cold or something. But I think it was cause I overheated >.< But I feel so poopy right now i don't know if I really want to do anything...

I just realized P!nk talks about panty-stealers in that song. hahahahahahaha. funny funny.

God, the boys on the team this year are RETARDED. No joke. MINUS A FEW PEOPLE. Seriously. The guys in my lane don't know the meaning of swim or move over. Ugh.  I keep swimming onto people and the guys in my lane must punch or something, cause both Anna and I got like socked while we swam.
I'm thinking about just being dead last in the varsity lane from now on..I'll die, but at least I'll get shit done.

I should stop procrastinating.

I'm not a fucking machine.
I can't keep on working.
I need breaks.
I need time.
So stop fucking thinking I should be working every fucking minute of the fucking day.
Thank you very much.

I'd really appreciate it if you would just listen to me sometimes.
I say things a lot
But you don't hear them because you don't want to.
(And you accuse me of doing that?)
So please open up your ears and listen to what I fucking say sometimes.
Your temper tantrums when you finally hear what I say
Really aren't appreciated or well-liked.

I do the best I can.
I'd appreciate it if you would just realize that, goddammit.
I'd like some freedom and some support
If that's really not too much to ask.
So won't you be kind
And just get off my back sometimes?

I'm not a fucking machine
I'm not a fucking perfect child
So if you would just see me for who I am
If you would hear me when I speak
Instead of seeing what you want
And hearing what you want
It would be a nice breath of fresh air.
And perhaps my temper would improve.
Now wouldn't you like that?

Crisiss

^^ isn't that the name of something to do with Final Fantasy...? haha i can't remember.

Anyways.

So MPineapplez informed me today that Margaritas have invaded.  And since we've had past scares with Tall Jam, and Pacman, and probably someone else I'm forgetting, I've put myself in the mindset that them liking Finland really really doesn't bug me. After all, what can I do about it, right? I can't just go up to them and be like BACK OFF. Seriously. Free world here.
Tall Jam, Pacman, etc people really didn't bug me. Seriously. Not lying. I don't know them that well..and I don't see their interactions with him, so I didn't care.
But then...Margaritas. If I'm completely honest, she bugs me. Probably because she's pretty well-rounded..in like. everything. Academics, i dunno bout sports, personality is great. So yea.  I dunno. I'm trying not to think about it and let it bother me..but it's not working so well, now that i've decided to be honest with myself.

First two days of swimming were great! No soreness really. But some of these people need to stop hanging out at the shallow end! KEEP SWIMMING DAMMIT. and if you can't, THEN TELL PEOPLE TO GO IN FRONT OF YOU. I refuse to keep swimming on top of some dude's legs when theres a HUGGEEE gap between the leader of the lane and the last person! And i hate kicking people in the head because YOU are not swimming.
Ugh.
Last year's guys were so fast. i mean the new guys last year. This year...they're rather slow xD
But other than that, awesome time =)

Dear Beloved Readers

and Journal I suppose,


I hate Asian parents.

The end.


With all the love in the world,
Tiff Liu

"I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the brush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in"
~"Come On Get Higher," Matt Nathanson

We baked today =)
It was really really really fun. And super sugary. Yummmm
And then MPineapple stopped by!!!  We all had a ton of cookies =D

So swimming starts next week. I need to start eating healthy and start working on like...muscles. XD
That won't happen.
I'll probably just sit here until swimming starts and then die first day of tryouts and then be super sore Tuesday. That's alright. It's always that way. And the sore feeling feels so good. Even though it's sorta painful and stuff.
Does that make me masochistic?

It's getting really really cold out. Ew. T_T
Chocolate!!!!♥♥♥

There is no such thing as something being too sweet. Unless its super rich and thick and really sweet. Then that's kinda pushing it. Like the brownies/fudge thingys ASO had. Those were kinda pushing it.
But I have a huuuuuggggeeeeeee sweet tooth. which Po-lun, one of my chinese school kids, keeps pointing out since Halloween.  He's very odd. He's very attached to me. Haha. Its kinda disturbing when he kinda..invade my personal space. Cause he's only a little shorter than me...so it makes it REALLY AWKWARD when he's like an inch away from me. He probably doesn't think so, he's only 10, but its SO UNCOMFORTABLE sometimes.
I think he did say that once. When he was like.....jumping me. I panicked hahahaa he was THAT close so i just shoved him away by the shoulders. Poor kid...but he was kinda looking for it XD

I love my kids. They're so adorable and such pains in the ass, but they're cute pains.  I love how the entire class is so separated, boys against girls.  Minus Tammy.  But like..the girls are like GAH THE BOYS ARE SO ANNOYING. and the boys go GAH THE GIRLS ARE SO ANNOYING. So needless to say...I'm hanging out with the boys a lot.  Mostly because they're the troublemakers. And the girls sit ALLLL the way across the room from my little resting area ><

Ew. Rutgers essay. Man I'm so far behind.  Hopefully I can finish that one today...and then re-research all my college essays. This part of the year freakin SUCKS.

"If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark"
~"I Will Follow You Into the Dark," Death Cab for Cutie

"I can feel you all around me"
~"All Around Me," Flyleaf

SO FINLAND RESPONDED TO MY TEXT FROM LIKE 3 DAYS AGO.
He said his phone was out of batteries. >< haha.

I have decided my attraction to Joel is purely his hair. and his chillness.
Finland is still the top of my list.

OH. i promised to blog about STranger.

So a few weeks ago, maybe a month, he gave me this wooden heart he made himself during Woods class. And i was like. uh. okay......and then my mom found it a week or so ago since its just sitting on her desk cause i dunno where to put it. and then she was like what is this!? And i'm like iono..and she's like SO UGLY. For lack of better translation haha.
 And then my mom a few days ago, was helping me tear apart my work area to find my stupid driving permit. And then saw it again. and goes, "why is this here??" and i go, because I don't know what to do with it. and she's like "throw it out!" like its the most obvious thing in the world. lmao.
its terrible, but i kinda found it sorta funny XD

So yes thats the story.

Joel is either ignoring my fb chat message question or he's actually prepping for his speech thing.
Anyways.

Skillettttt♥
Yay tea party day tomorrow =)


"I'm so addicted to all the things do"
~"Addicted," Saving Abel

lalalala. ITS SUGARRRRR

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

-"Monster," Skillet

Awesome song. I love them. So good.

So anyways, there's this huge candy store down at Atlantic city. I can't remember if i mentioned it before. It's called "It's Sugar." It's so awesome. TONS of candy.  Needless to say, I bought a bag of candy and am currently slowly munching my way through it. I  have such a sweet tooth. Hopefully no cavities haha.

So I realized today that being in ASO this year and socializing with more guys has dumped me in a pond and scooped me outta the little puddle we call Montville. Meaning I met more guys. And I realized just how bad Montville pickings are.From my perspective i mean. I am not insulting you guys!  I'm saying the majority of guys in Montville are kinda.....not my type at all.  And rather unappealing. I still love a lotta you though.

IE. Joel. He's freaking smart and really rather good at cello. Even though he's not like Sam Oh awesome or anything, he's normal. He's human. And really rather fun to be around.  spencer reid-like hair gives him points too hahaha.

Patrick. He's not someone I would wanna date..but he's pretty funny and interesting. 
Felix, Chris, Dan. Really interesting people. Really really really interesting people...hahahaha.
But yea. I realized just how many guys are out there.

And I think that revelation and the ASO trip started to push me in a moving on direction. I feel like pursuing Jin really isn't getting me anywhere.  Sometimes he seems interested....other times I feel like i'm bugging him and he's pissed off at me.  I can never tell. And I dont think he knows all of me. like the me thats crazy happy. Or the side thats really sarcastic and rude. or mean.  And somehow I don't know if he'll accept that. He's already got this image of a very innocent girl.

But we'll see. Wednesday. let's see if seeing him again will change my mind.  I just feel like meeting Joel and some other guys really opened my eyes to all the guys out there...Even if I do get over Jin, I'll probably still ask him to prom. Just as friends.

Who knows. I just really need t find a way to meet more people and get out more. Really. I'm too...My house is under a boulder. I need to blow that boulder up.

Moving on.

Swimming starts soon!  Man, I'm soooo psyched.  No joke. Just not about dry land preseason......ugh. I don't want to run. But it'll probably help a bit. But STILL. Gah.  I can't go tomorrow...got driving right after school...but I can probably do Wed and Friday. But thats such a depressing thought. RUNNING. Seriously.
MPineappleeee are you going????

LETS RUN OVER HARRY POTTER IN THE LANES TOGETHER.
If he makes the team that is....well. I'll run him over during tryouts.]
Muahahaha.

Oh so I got this post on my formspring asking why I'm such a bitch to him/her sometimes, and then do i just forget what i said or do i have deja-vu-itis. I'm willing to bet that was him. I'm only really mean to him. And sometimes Abbi, but Abbi wasn't mad at me anymore and she knows that its just our tempers. And I love her all the same.

And she said it wasnt her. so i'm believing that.

But i laughed when i read that question.
~~

Story books full of fairy tales
Of kings and queens and the bluest skies
My heart is torn just in knowing
You'll someday see the truth from lies

When clouds will rage 

And storms will race in but you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down, waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms

Castles they might crumble
Dreams may not come true
But you are never all alone
Because I will always
Always love you

Clouds will rage, and storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down, waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms.

 -"In my Arms," Plumb

ASO

So All state is over. Until next sunday. But its pretty much done =(

I really miss it. Despte the 10 hours total rehearsal a day, it's really really fun. And really interesting. Plus you can catch naps in between during your 120+ bar rests (haha 2nds) or 94/96 measures of rest (XD cellos) so its really nice. Or when Mr Stone's workin with the winds or brass or percussion and it takes forever. Haha Joe was funny. My stand partner. He just fell asleep every chance he got. Until Thursday night. He drank around 2 cups of coffee and it started to kick in and he was like OMG LETS PLAY HURRY BEFORE IT WEARS OFF GAH.

Interesting people out there.

And Joel. Joel's a cellist. Used to be Abbi's partner until reseating and he went up to 2nd. lmao.  but the first chair is freaking awesome.
Anyways Joel's hair reminds me of Spencer reid's hair or rather matthew gray gubler's hair...but anyways, its long kinda curly and pretty messy overall.
he was an interesting person.

met more people and actually talked to some people i see every single year but never bothered to talk to. like patrick. And ryan. and alan. funny how their all guys. all the girls are kinda...grouped up already. anyways.
ASO was interesting. Fun. kinda cold. But it was good nonetheless.

I really need to cut my nails. I had th ehardest time playing the high notes cause my left hand nails are a little too long T_T My righthand is 10x worse. I haven't cut them in forever cause I've been skipping piano cause of too much work and i didn't have lessons for a few weeeks, so I've only been bothereing to trim my left hand for violin. Eh.I kinda regret forgetting to cut my nails before I left Wed =\

OH. Lara was there too!!! For chorus! which kicked butt too btw. our butts T_T the audience loved them more than us. But then again, people were rushing. Ugh.

But ASO was fun. I love it. I'll miss it. =(

Atlantic cityyyyy

Hizers.

I get to leave school early tomorrow. EARLY FROM AN EARLY DISMISSAL HOW SICK IS THAT.

But then I get on a bus for 2+ hours down to Atlantic City where I eat a rushed dinner and then go to rehearsal at like..8 until 10 or somethign like that. I think. That's gonna suck.

And no gambling. Hahaha. I can't even hang out in the casino in my hotel for longer than it takes me to get through the gambling areas. T_T

But I'll be sure to stop by the awesome apple store in the nearby mall and blog. or update fb. or something. It's so awesome. And the candy store! I'll buy more candy this year =D

So I'm blogging because I'm kinda putting off my english essay on beowulf (ewwwww) and because I just finished packing and I feel like i'm forgetting a ton of stuff. But mainly because I don't wanna write the stupidass essay.

YES MPINEAPPLE. LINKIN PARK =D
Did you know they have a new album. I had no idea. Apparently it came out in the beginning of September too T_T I'm such a bad fan haha.

And Breaking Benjamin! Dear Agony?  I didn't know that one EXISTED. Maybe I did download it...but i didn't recognize some of the songs =\ It was on pandora haha.

time to outline for my essay so I'm not up at 2 AM going, "....what did I want to say in this part? How the hell do I prove that!?!?!?"
I kinda don't wanna sleep at 5:30 this time. Although it might be worse. I've been sleeping later and later with each essay. First one 2 am, 2nd one 4am, 3rd one 5:30 am.
yea. 6 am doesn't sound too appealing.....

I'm sooo behind on college essays. Everyone's like I APPLIED. or I HAVE 6 ESSAYS LEFT or 2 ESSAYS LEFT. I'm like...eheh....oops. I have like....10?  Well not 10 completely, I've started a few..just never finished. I hate how I can't write until I'm like OMG DUE TOMORROW. That's how I wrote my last two! Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I should write one on the bus ride. Finish a 300 or 500 word essay in 2 hours? Should be relatively easy. Just dunno how i'll check the word count....no laptop T_T sadness. I need one.

Back off, I'll take you on, headstrong to take on anyone.

^ "Headstrong," Trapt.

Yay for me and MPineapple for having similar music tastes!!!! =)
It's so awesome. Considering my biffle loves classical and kpop stuff haha.

So I decided to blog for the first time in ever cause I was looking at my blog thinking, Wow, my last post was so depressing and offensive, so here I am blogging a nice post I think. I never know what's gonna come out on the page till I write it.

MPineapple just said math grades are in. Let's hope it's a smaller disappointment than my SAT scores...but my grade hasn't changed yet and I highly doubt I got my average as a grade. I mean getting my average would still pull me up I think......gah. too much thinking.

Haha all I heard from "Mockingbird" by Eminem was "Ima wring that birdie's neck." XD
Pandora.com is a wonderful thing. It's high time I start expanding my horizons again. I need to get outta my listen-to-these-few-bands kinda habit...

REally worried about Calc now. If that's my grade after the new grade...meaning my average didn't change, I'm totally fucked.

Anyways. So my computer monitor burned out yesterday..what a pain in the ass.  So since there's only one desktop in this house (which is what I use) and one laptop that's kinda dying (which my mom uses to watch her dramas all the time), I had to make do with one of those old big bulky monitors. Which I'm okay with. Only problem is NOSOUND. THERE'S NO SPEAKER ON THIS MONITOR. So I had to pull out the computer from under the table, meaning I lost my leg rest for late-nights (I kept putting my leg up where the computer used to be and there was nothing there so depressing), and also meaning that I'm ruining my headphones cause the cords so short. Pain in the butt.
Speaking of computers, I really need a laptop soon. This computer is freaking slowwwww sometimes. Not to mention I'd like to work upstairs in bed sometimes if it's not something due the next time. IE college essays! Or working on an essay due later which happens almost never. Or reading Sparks. seriously. I need a laptop. Thank God I'm a senior finally and can get one. Hopefully I get a good one...Josh's was retarded for forever and he had to send it back a bunch of times to get it fixed.

It's not like you to say sorry. Nickelback.

I had no idea that Skillet was a Christian band. Nooooo idea. But I heard a really good song from them on Pandora yesterday and looked them up. I'm learning new things all the time.
This is my December; this is my time of the year. This is my December; this is all so clear.

I'm amazed by how long I've liked LP.  I think they were the first real band I was introduced to, and I've loved them since then. Really amazing.  My mom had a problem with one of their songs..point of authority i think...Nope. Runaway hahah. Cause it was like, "they point the finger at you again" meaning like...accusation kinda finger. Not the bird. But my mom thought it was the third finger and she's like NO BAD MUSIC NO. and turned off the CD player. =\

SORRY MOM. IF YOU HEARD MY MUSIC NOW, YOU'D BE CRYING. Actually, Josh's is worse and he plays it on the car all the time when he comes home.  My parents should appreciate my music. It's pretty good compared to some of the stuff Joshie has.

You know..I'm just rambling about nothing. This is probably a waste of whatever computers use. Carbon imprints? No idea. Lol.
I didn't go ToTing yesterday, so sad =( meaning ZERO CANDY. Except what i swiped from chinese school. XD
but noooooo good candy.
I'll go and figure out my englishessay now. and possibly write a college essay tonight. and fbla.

Sorryyyyy

I'm sorry about my last post...obviously I offended you guys. My bad. I honestly didn't think before I posted....

I was being stereotypical and prejudiced and stuff. Sorry!!!!! =(

so. restless.

I'm only blogging because I really have nothing better to do. And because I need something to make me stop FIDGETING.  No joke. I'm sooo restless it's killing me. Aha. "You're killin' me. You're really killin' me!" Daddy Day Care- awesome movie. you should see it if you haven't. I love the kids-they're adorable! I'd never be able to put up with them though hahaa.

So today Brendon K invaded my orchestra class. And I was so mean to him. I was teasing, but I was sooo mean. XD On the other hand, when he called me mean, half the class was like "What are you talking about? Tiff is the nicest person ever!" or something along those lines. nice self-esteem boost lmao.

Doris says some really weird shit.

Apparently tons of people think doris and Jin are dating. I guess if I didn't know better, I'd think so too. but yea. Hahaha I thought it was hilarious the first time I heard it XD But it does seem like they are haha.

you know. Asian parents are sooooooooo prejudiced and racist. Seriously. My mom was like, "Don't marry a black person because most of them are super lazy and just live off welfare; don't marry a japanese because japanese men are sex lunatics; don't marry a white man because they're messed up and do drugs (or something along those lines. I think she's biased too cause my cousin had an Am bf who did jackshit so my aunt and uncle thought he was really rude...); don't marry a Korean because they're abusive."  And then she follows up the korean statement with, "____(family friend's name)___ has a ton of Korean friends and she says even those women don't want to marry a Korean because they're so abusive!"  Geez Mom, you're not racist at alll. Nope. 

My dad was just like, "If you bring home a black guy or a white guy, I'll just have to get used to it I guess." I never got to drill him with the "What about Korean? Or Japanese?" stuff. Sheesh, why can't my mom be that chill?

But. HA MOM. I'm not listening to you. If I find a nice black guy, I'll date him! If I find a nice white guy, guess what? I'm not going to listen to you! And if I find a nice Korean or Japanese guy, you'll just have to deal. Ha. REBELLIOUS SPIRIT. ^_^

But seriously, Mom. A lot of Chinese guys are sooooo....spineless nowadays. Not insulting you Kaiserroll!  You're awesome. But like. A bunch of Chinese guys I know are so feminine and wimpy and blah. Not someone I would trust to take care of me or protect me. So what's so good about them besides their brains and potential to make lots of money?! and chinese genes lmao.

Yea. I successfully wasted a few minutes. But I'm still really really bored......

I came to dance dance dance dance

-"Dynamite" Taio Cruz

Sam Tsui's mashup of Love the way you lie, dynamite, and teenage dream is really good. And kudos to Kurt Schneider too cause i think he wrote it haha.

So you know how people say its hard for exes to stay friends? I don't get that. Unless you guys parted on really really really bad terms, I don't see what's wrong with staying friends with them.  I mean, you guys had to be attracted to each other in some way/connected for you guys to have dated.  So what's wrong with maintaining that friendship after the relationship  ends? Like me and Jason, we have no problem talking with each other still and catching up on each other.  Apparently that's not really normal. I'm kinda surprised he still wants to talk to me...lol. Then again he is the one who insists i didn't do anything wrong. But that was all me blaming him  (coughimmaturecough).  Anyways I digress.  Whats so wrong about staying friends with your ex?
That just came to mind cause his dad stopped by today and I was like Oh whoa I haven't seen you in forever. His dad I mean. And then me and Jason started to talk on fb. Like now. so yea. I was just wondering...besides the fact that it could be potentially awkward. But what's so wrong about it.

I should be studying for spanish and stats. ugh. Stats.....i love that class usually but when I miss class, it sucks.

YES. i think i get to cancel piano tomorrow. I should totally be sad about that and be more enthusiastic about piano...but i have zero time to practice lately. and no motivation. so. yea. i'm just wasting money now.....

I just did nothing productive for about an hour. Great. Time to study for stats.....

Jealous minds think alike

-"Jealous minds think alike," You Me At Six.

Good song. Good band. Or I just have odd tastes.

Anyways. Its only Monday night but I'm sooo tired and I'm soooo sick of this week. How depressing is that!? and it's only Monday. Gah. How will I survive through another 4 days....BUT. FRIDAY I GET MY FAKE BABY FOR CHILDCARE =D =D =D =D I'm sooooo excited. Stupid and odd, I know. But that'll be like. The highlight of my year so far because my life sucks what with school and college apps that I'll never ever get to do because of my retarded teachers who just keep piling more and more work on us. Ugh. And ASO isn't helping with whole-day rehearsals. Poopface.

^_^ ^o^ I is so excited! Did I mention that I'm so excited!? Hahaha I'm retarded.  EVen though I'll come in on Monday going "FUCK THE WORLD GAH EVERYONE DIE" because I got little to no sleep over the weekend, it's gonna be awesome. Me and my lil baby for 3 days. I'll be an awesome single mom! Scoops said so =P hahahahaha
Dude Scoops has been in the awesomest mood ever lately. I thought she'd chew my head off about the baby and not let me have it in her class, but she was like YEA SURE I'LL SIGN IT =D YOU'LL BE AN AWESOME MOM!  Scared me half to death. But I'll take super happy Scoops over *starestarestareareyouanidiotstarestarestare* Scoops anyday =D

I'm already thinking of names. Although Spencer Reid is awesome, I'm not callin my kid "Spencer." "Spence" maybe, cause "Spence" is cute. But not fully spencer. Too many syllables lmao. Or Shaun. Yes, I've decided my baby will be a boy. Dunno why...just want a boy hahahaha. I'm weird. I get it...
Or I'll call him Baby Finland! Like in those chinese dramas-there was one called fated to love you and the dog is called ___bao bao, meaning Baby ___. I forget the dudes last name. Lmao. i'm kidding. Unless Finland goes NAME IT AFTER ME I probably won't. How awkward would that be. hahahahahahahaha. I should shut up about that. I was totally joking.
But I dunno. What should I call him!? I'm wayy too excited about this thing for it to be normal. That's alright. i've waited 3 years to do this. ^_^

Kudos to ya'll who actually read through that. I'm annoying; I know. I talk about pointless and ridiculous things; I know. ^_^

Boo. Calc test/quiz tomorrow. Stats test/quiz Wed. Possible Econ test/quiz Thursday. D=
DEPRESSION.

And I've gotten over my hissy fit over Stranger. Haven't totally forgiven him but I'm done being a bitch. Man. I need to grow up and stop being so self-centered all the time. Gah. I don't wanna be my 6th grade self again. A few years ago I went back to Gaiaonline and read some of our roleplay threads. Man I was really a bitch. And annoying. I wonder how people put up with me. No wonder Josh hated me for forever until I broke up with Jason and suddenly stopped being so stupid and immature.

Oh hey I never finished my milk from dinner. Oops. I really like eating cereal dry. Depends on the type. like we got Cocoa Krispies- I cannot eat those with milk. It just gets all...ew. Cap'n crunch is awesome in milk though! And dry =D

Man I have attention issues. As proved above. No wonder I never get anything done...holy crap its 1045 when did that happen. It was just 9.30.....

I learned how to play some Cajun fiddle song today in orch from the sub. It's interesting. Never played stuff like that before.
I have no sense of connection or flow in this post. I never do. Wow. Fail. hahahahaha.

Man badminton is killing me. I can't react fast enough and half the time the birdie blends in with the colors around it so I can't see it coming. =\ but its lots of fun! me and nat are awesome =D

time to stooooody. Ew.

----i edited out my confession to the world lol.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

-"Love the way you lie" Eminem

I shall put a line from whatever i'm listening to as my blog post name from now on.

I have next to nothing to post.

OH. Finland texted me first today =D about marching band and how they got last...but he texted me first ^_^

and then stopped after a while. D= but he tends to do that so I'm used to it lmao.  Apparently he knew about the calc quiz cause daidai was studying for it cause "he wants a 100" hahahaha.

Right. I have nothing else to post. At least I think I dont....I'm so bored. And sick of school. And totally fucked for tomorrow's calc quiz. no joke, I need like, an A or A+ to pull up my grade even a tiny bit. Gah. D=

Be careful what you wish forrr

- "Almost Famous," Eminem. Check it out =D

So I was doing nothing, and MPineapple said "Blog!" so I am. yay for procrastination.

If it weren't for those red lines under misspelled words, this blog would be very difficult to read. XD  I only fix my spelling because those red lines are really annoying..and remind me of failed papers. haha

So I got about an hour of sleep Thursday night cause of the Lahiri paper. I just couldn't say what I wanted to say. So I'm very sure that paper is going to be a fail.

Today was kinda loooong. And cramp-inducing.  Woke up at 630AM, was out on the road at 730 for Cinnamason or something like that, in SJersey for ASO rehearsal. Man. Soooooo far away. So I napped on the car, dozed in and out, etc etc. Then we got there, had sectionals for 2 hours straight because our sectional leader kept us playing for two hours. Soooo tiring. Then an hour for lunch/break. Started up again at 1 as a full orchestra, and then proceeded to play for a loong time. I'm usually totally okay with that. Only the Cinnamason HS's stage is TINY. Meaning everyone is really really really squished together. So I alternated between trying not to break my bow on the chair to my right, trying not to stab the girl to my right, and not poking out my stand partner's eyes every time I played the D or G string. Very difficult. And I finally found a position that let me avoid all three things. Only problem? That position was me kinda hunched over squished into a ball on the corner of my chair. Very painful after sitting like that for an hour or so.  And didn't help that my stand partner (his name's Joe) is insanely tall. And asian. But really tall and his height is all in his legs. So his legs are insanely long which equals me having no leg room and being unable to turn to have more room or i'll smash into his legs T_T

Atlantic City better be more roomy. D= or i'll develop back problems in a few weeks....

Other than that? Very fun. Sorta. Kinda. WE'RE PLAYING O FORTUNA FROM CARMINA BURANA =D How cool is that! It sounds awesome.

Ke$ha's playing. =\ oh wait, it turned into glee! =D

Depression. Bones didn't air this week. I have yet to watch criminal Minds from this week...no time =( I still have to write a ton of college essays. Grawr. On the happy note, i have two almost perfect essays. But one's for Princeton which I'm pretty sure I won't attend even if I make it. Unless that's the only good school I make it into...... D= that would be very very sad for me. Cause I really don't wanna go there.

I think everyone following me knows who finland is. And the story connected with him. I think.....I can't remember XD I know most people do. And KXie figured it out, the genius that he is. But is it bad that I text him all thetime....he responds and stuff...but I can't tell if i'm being annoying lmao. Bleh. DRAMA sucksss.

So stranger texted me today. And i totally forgot it was his birthday. oops. oh well. I'm supposed to be kinda mad at him anyways.....
Too tired to care. I should go study calc or somethign. or better. actually get to work on my college essays. yay. fun. not.

Don't gimme no essay, no essay.

Seriously. They suck.  I'll be up forever because I can't concentrate right now. And I'm exhausted. And bored. And pissed off at spanish.

Today was fun. The entire bus ride to Edison with DC and Chi was fun. Gossip gossip gossip. And poor Byron in the corner not understanding half of it hahaha.
But the breakfast food was soooooooooooo good. Their apple juice tasted kinda diluted though.....
And the speaker wasERGETIC. I have his "MOO MOO MOO MOO" chant stuck in my head. Hahaha.

And the workshops were pretty good this year! I didn't fall asleep =D
And lunch was yummyyyyyyyyyy. And I probably gained a few pounds. But thats okay. I'll burn it off staying up late tonight to write this stupid ass essay.

I'm only blogging to put off my essay. And to give myself less of an excuse to whine in my head and really slow down my thinking process for my essay. Cause as much as I've accepted the fact that I'm sleeping at 4 tonight, I don't really want to.  I'm so tired already. Imagine me tomorrow. I'll be a zombie. Not really. Please dont stab me with an ice pick. Or bash my head in with a crowbar....

I'll probably go and read manga halfway through though. my essay I mean. I just work that way. MULTITASKING PINEAPPLE! =D Hahaha. I don't know how people write an essay straight through. It's like..impossible.  Even during in-class essays. I start to drift halfway through.

So yea. I think I'll finish brainstorming for my essay/outlining it. And thens tart it. Probably around 1, 130. Loverly. I will die tomorrow during school and eclipse ball. My epic skills this week will crash and buuurrrrrnnn.

ginger.red.fire.flame.sword.sharp.pointy.glint.flint.spark.bright.white.blank.line.
I thought burn. and i thought ginger. hahaha. poor byron we bully him all the time....

right. essay. YES TOMORROW'S FRIDAY. I can watch my shows! Boo SAturday is 6.5 hour Allstate rehearsal. FML.

blah.

So now that I've successfully reminded myself to blog today, I don't really know what I wanted to blog about. That's all right.  I'll remember after I ramble.

 Oh so the cockblocking. Someone-who-shall-not-be-named although some of you know cause I was whining about it during English yesterday, really pisses me off sometimes.  I mean, okay, he/she knows about Finland. And it seems like after he/she found it, he/she started to cockblock. No joke. After I told him/her, he/she started to insert himherself into our relationship. I give up saying heshe is getting annoying. She just started to like, for lack of better wording, "hog Finland." If that makes any sense at all.  She just keeps bugging him or whatever, and so voila. No way for me to talk to him or anything.  Seriously, at first I was like, oh it's just her personality; she's just like that. Very talkative,  likes to bully him/tease him etc. But now, it's totally got out of hand.  If she's blocking him from me, does that still count as cockblocking....? Haha. But yea, just whining now.

So I decided to ask Finland. Just because it really wouldn't hurt if I asked him as a friend, and even if he rejects me, it won't be a big deal simply because we're 'just friends.'  I just decided one day.  No particular reason; thought I'd man up and just ask him to prom already or I'd regret never asking.  I'll probably end up asking in February. After midterms. Or something like that.

Right. What else was I going to blog about...I seriously have no idea. Blanking. D= I have such terrible memory....

Oh so Christina drew an adorable picture of me in spanish today. Its soooo cute. I should take a picture of it sometime and put it as my FB picture. And then Sonya was like, "oh draw one of Finland too!" XD Its a pretty good picture though, despite him not holding much favor in her eyes ahaha. Sorry Christina, you have to put up with my shit =\  look i have super big eyes! ==\ lmfao

So someone texted me today and was like, "Just wondering, where do I stand?" As in, am I still pissed at him, is he "out of the doghouse" as he put it, or do I just not care whatsoever. So I said, he's really not out of the doghouse, and our 'friendship' really isn't going to go back to how it was before. Ed said ouch. Lol. I feel so mean, but I really want to distance myself from him. So he doesn't end up getting the idea that maybe I've totally forgiven him and we can be great friends again and he might still have a chance.  I mean, he might not think he has a chance considering I told him no, but he's the type to hope. He still hoped after I told him I like Finland over the summer. So I'm kinda being careful. I don't know. I hate dealing with drama.

Oh btw, if you haven't noticed, I've prettty much stopped using nicknames. No one following this blog is going to go and spill my secrets to the world, so I'm not afraid. I think. James said something on FB about people going to read his blog...Uh oh. =\ I just went back and took out his name. Just in case. Haha.

I realized that my communication skills suck. I was going to add another word, but I figured you guys wouldn't appreciate reading a very dirty-language post.  The reason my relationships have failed is my inability to talk to the guy. Really. If I'd simply talked to Jason, things woulda been pretty okay. I mean, I'm pretty sure our relationship was heading towards breakup eventually, as mean as that sounds, we really werent that compatible; I knew virtually nothing about the rest of his personality.  But things would have worked a little better.Yea, my communication skills suck majorly.

So he-I-call-the-asshole just texted me saying he feels like I'm still mad, sorta like how someone stays made when someone tries to cheer them up just to spite the other person. Seriously? Dick. I'm not spiting anyone. I'm honestly pissed. That joke went way too far, and any person could have, should have seen that. There goes any progress he made. He just pissed me off again. I admit that I'm a teen- I do do stuff like that to spite people. But to stay mad for so long at someone simply to get back at them? That's not me.  So why am I still mad? Because  he played this kind of a joke and expected to be forgiven. I don't mean he should have begged on his hands and knees, I mean he shouldn't have such confidence that our relationship will work out in the end. I dont' know. Maybe my anger is unjustified. Maybe my grudge is somewhat unjustified. But that's how I feel, and he just blew any chance of me forgiving him anytime soon. Good job, dickhead.

Wow. I spend more time fuming about him than I do talking about Finland. Congrats, asshole. You've taken over my life.

Ah, NJSFLC tomorrow! =D FBLA stuff. fun fun...workshops all day. >< but at least we miss school! ^o^ \o/ RAWR BANG CRASH SLAM BOOM.  I just felt like doing that.

I have mood swings.  If you take a look, its like,  GAH RAWR. lovey dovey lovey dovey yayayayay! GRAWR. HATE HATE HATE GAH SNARL GROWL SHOUT. yay fbla haha yipeeeee!

Yes? I have issues. Am I bipolar....!?!?!?! Man. hahaha.

Kudos to Jude for being really awesome. Kudos to the sophomores cause you're all following each other on blogs, so I found you all! =D Hahah dorothy and kaiwen =P I'm not stalking, I swear!

Oh so a few days ago, I texted Finland and was like, "good luck tomorrow! =)" and then he responds with, 'haha thx how did you know" So I told him a friend was telling me about it. So then I think a couple days ago, I texted him again about something...oh he was asking about midterms and told me about his bros comm service or something, and then i was like, wait dont you do something at san dol? and he was like, "how did you know o.O" or something along those lines. XD I seem like such a stalker. but then he was like, 'did i tell you?" and i was like, yea i think so. plus lilly told me about it. i'm not stalking you! XD So he was like, hahahahah okay. and then I forget where the convo led to. But yea. =)

See I've totally got moodswings. Dude he needs to stop sending me novels. Its a fucking pain in the butt to piece together.  Seriously.  who sends texts that overflow into like 7 separate texts?!

Yes I must be bipolar or suffer from major mood swings. Moving on.

Coops said today that she's been happy with my essays so far this year! =D I'm just really scared now cause that'll probably jinx me now and I'll fail the next paper. T_T hahaha i'm soooo paranoid. toooo paranoid.

I'll shut up here because now I'm really talking about nothing.

But first, do you guys think I'm totally overreacting and making this huge thing outta something thats' not such a big deal? Gimme thoughts, any thoughts on this stuff. Its eating at me.

Tiff out!

*edited* luciferrrrrr

------------------------------------------
Original Post:


No, not the fallen angel Lucifer. SHINee lucifer haha.

So I thought I'd mini post to remind myself that I need to actually blog tomorrow.

COCKBLOCKER. T_T
well does it count as cockblocking if its a girl....? lmfao.  whatever. I'll get over it. Eventually. Maybe. Maybe not. If it's like this allllll year, definitely not. cry cry cry in a corner. CRY ME A RIVER. I probably would.

Sonyaaaaa Finland says he likes all food, and when I said I hope its edible, he said I'm sure it'll be good. =D haha lets not poison him. that'll be the worst birthday for him every. Esp. since he's supposed to get his license lmao. Poor kid. Could you imagine? Having food poisoning from cookies that the girl who's crushing on you gave you. Man. That would suck. On both ends.

I'm sure you'll all be proud that I've decided officially that I will ask Finland to prom. When I ask him, though, is still a question hahaha.

omg. I just looked down at my nSpire and I'm missing a black support thing. Thats why it's so unbalanced when I type on it! Aha. Problem identified. Time to find a black support thingy....

I should be going to shower. I said I would be like 20 minutes ago. Right. Must blog more in depth tomorrow. Bye bye.

XOXOTiff

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

-"Come What May," Moulin Rouge
^^ awesome song.

So I just felt like wasting some time, or rather more time than I already have, so blogging it is.  I need some topics to talk about instead of blabbering on about my life.  Really. haha. My life is boring as shit.  Well shit might not be that boring, depends how you see it, but my life is boringgg. Wake up, school, study, sleep, wake up, school, study, sleep, over and over and over and overrr. Man I need some more spontaneity.

So stealing a little from Kev X's blog, homosexuality.  Really. Okay I get that the Bible says homosexuals are sinful! OMG they will go to hell and satan has corrupted them! Stay away from them! Sinners! all of them! 
Okay maybe not like that, but it condemns homosexuality basically.  And then people live exactly by only that section of the Bible and nothing else.  Really? You people are douches.  They may be "sinners," but aren't we all?  We lie, we cheat, we're tempted by material things, we don't believe in God, we don't believe in Jesus, we worship other idols, we don't honor our parents, we don't love each other as much as we love ourselves.  How does that make us any better than gays?  Just because we're "straight" and we are men who love women, or women who love men, that makes us somehow better?  Because God created us that way to be the same as Adam and Eve, Abraham and Rebekah, Mary and Joseph?  Because our type of relationships exist in the Bible and are revered and given obvious approval by God?  Honestly.  Get over yourselves, douchebags of the US and the world.  They're just as good as us, and we're just as imperfect as them.

And sending them to psychiatrists really won't do anything.  There is nothing wrong with them. As you might think.  Just because your son might like men doesn't make him a different person than he was for the last fifteen, twenty years of his life.  There's no need to say, "There is something WRONG WITH YOU. I DIDN'T BRING YOU UP LIKE THIS.  YOU NEED HELP."  Won't you regret it, not accepting your kids, when ten, twenty, thirty years from now, you have no one to check up on you, you have no one to take care of you, you have no one to call and say, "Hi mom! Hi dad!  Miss you guys, just wanted to call and say hi and check up on you guys!"  Or when you never get to meet your grandchildren and you can only hear about them through friends?  Or when your kid gets married finally and begins one of the happiest times of his or her life?  Think about that stuff.  Not that your kid has a "problem" or a "disease" or is just a sinner fallen into the hands of Satan and there is no way to save him!  God forbid you try to love him for who he is. And not who you think he should be. He is your child, your flesh and blood; don't you think you could love him a little more and, God forbid, support him throughout his homosexual life?! Oh maybe you'll say, "I'll never have biological grandkids! They'll never really be mine."  Fuck that. There are millions and millions of kids out there who have no parents!  Will it hurt for people who can't have their own children to adopt them, show them love, show them that people care?  Stop thinking about yourselves for once; think about all the people that depend on you, on your acceptance.  Fuck your reputation.  Who cares if people realize you're homosexual, or bisexual, or if your brother or sister is gay, or if your best friend is gay?  It's the shame that drives other people to hate on people with "abnormal" sexualities.  If no one was ashamed about their sexuality, couldn't the "straight" view be cut down?  Couldn't we have equality like our fucking Constitution says we do?
This world is filled with assholes.

I don't mean to insult homophobes. But think about this: if being a man and loving a woman was wrong, or being a woman and loving a man was wrong, wouldn't you want to be loved and know people still support you?  They're no different from us.  Its just a man instead of a woman, or a woman instead of a man, who stands by their sides. They're still human.  They're still capable of love.  They're still you and me.
Okay, maybe no one wants to see two guys slobbering all over each other. But no one wants to see a girl and a guy going at it either. It's the same thing.  So why does half the world make the distinction between the two sexual preferences?

Heart attack heart attack.

^^ totally dedicated to you Lilly =P

I should totally be doing my spanish article.  But then I saw my Dashboard and decided that since I haven't blogged in a few days, might as well blog today.

I can't remember when I last blogged and I'm waaayyyy too lazy to click a couple links to find out, so I'll just start with Friday.

Friday was awesome. Last day of the week? Tch yeaaa. I can't really remember what else was so awesome about it....but yea.  Oh the Stats test was pretty easy (saying that knock on wood I hope I didn't fail it).  Econ was too! =) KNOCK ON WOOD I KEEP JINXING MYSELF. What is this. Gah.  Watch me fail both now T_T

Then after school, went home, watched Bones and Criminal Minds.  Awesome shows.  I kinda feel like this week's Criminal Minds was a bit short though...kinda didn't feel like the plot was totally developed right.  But maybe that's just me.  I didn't nap, cause at 6 we had the quartet thingy for Hall of Fame.  Yes Ed, 2nd violinist needs to shut up. Gah. And he asks why I'm so mean to him all the time.  I think our violist has a bad impression of me now xD  I'm too-many-faced hahaha.
I put my hands in the air sometimes....."Dynamite" by Taio Cruz is really catchy. Sorry, it's playing. XD
And then after that, we ordered from Joe's and hung out at Barry's while we waited for our yummy food.  And thennnn.....I don't remember what I did.  But it wasn't anything productive XD  Oh waiiiiit.  Yes it was something productive.  I helped Stranger's friend who was also in on the prank on his college essay for Drexel.  I think I wrote most of it.  He really didn't care enough.  But yea. I'm not really mad at them anymore BTW, but I haven't forgiven Stranger yet.  His friend, yea i've pretty much forgiven, cuz he wasn't the one who took it too far.  And so instead of sleeping around 1130/12 like I coulda for the first time in forever, I stayed up to help him.  And I did something else...but I can't remember what.  Something fun. Probably games. Haha kudos to the creator of kongregate.com and the other game programmers/creators on that site!

I'd catch a grenade for youuuuu.  Man Jenny, that song is sooo good. And really stuck in my head.  Not to mention it's playing now hahaha.

So Saturday was a total waste of a day. I woke up around 930, did nothing all day, went to comm service, went shopping at Burlington.  I got two new coats =D  Both those heavy overcoat types, but ones lighter than the other.  Its grey plaid.  Very pretty ^_^   So after Burlington it was freezing out so we went to the Korean soondobu place on New Road.  It was so crowded haha. Then I went home and did nothing all night.

Woke up early today cause my mom had to teach Sunday School.  She made me go listen to the sermon...and I promptly passed out.  Thats why I didn't wanna go!  Gosh...but nooo. Had to anyways.  So I passed out on the chair.  Oh well.  So did probably half the people there.

Then Chinese school where my class was more annoying than usual and probably never even left the building for the fire drill cause I couldnt find them.  And then they all run around the building like they own it and i'm like GET BACK DOWN HERE so that sets them off and they sprint up and down between the floors and I get super pissed and scream at them.  Really.  They only hate me sometimes cause I do this stuff, but they really really bring it upon themselves.  But they're adorable and I love them. Most of them at least...

So yea that was my weekend.  I applaud you if you read this entire thing.  I know you people don't give a shit about my everyday life hahahaha.

So I've been texting Finland all day. Well. The part of the day that he could access his phone.  Marching bannd haha they placed 3rd!  which is pretty good.  And apparently percussion got the "best percussion" award thinger majigger. ^_^
I won't explain the Lilly heart attack thing cause that will completely give me away to everyone who has noooo idea what I'm talking about.  Which is a few people following my blog =P I'm keepin ya'll in the dark XD
FBLA is killing me.  SOOOO much to do, so little time. Man being president is reallly stressful. >.<
I should get back to work. Gotta finish spanish and read the rest of Beowulf which I'll probably do in bed, and write up part of the FBLA program of work cause Kalavrezos wants to see what I have done..which is close to nothing XD

Right. Off to work.  oh before I go, besides the "card" idea.  What else can I be for halloween thats' rather simple..??  Help me out please XD Thanks =)

Tiff out!♥

All you do is act a fool, you ain't shit without yo crew.

-2ne1, "Go Away"

It's playing right now so I just put that line down.  Hahaha.

So I think I sounded really accusing in my last post about Stats. It's really not a big deal; just felt like you guys had an image in mind that really wasn't what I was trying to do.  He's still my friend..just..not so great of a friend anymore.

Moving on from that topic, I should really be studying for Stats and Econ. I'm going to fail both.  Loverly. D=
Stats is just stats, meaning I'll fail simply because I've failed the last two tests. Despite my studying T_T depressionnnnnnn
Econ is probably going to be mad hard cause its an "open-notes" assessment. Great.  It's cumulative too, apparently, which makes it even worse.  More topics to make sure I have detailed notes for! Yay...not.

So, there's this lady at my church who sells vitamins/supplements and stuff.  And my mom bought some so I wouldn't suffer from malnutrition since we don't exactly eat really right nowadays.  And this lady just keeps on calling. And she's like, "Oh, I'm buying more vitamins.  I'll get you some! What do you want?!?" And my  mom's always like, "No no no, we're good.  We have enough." and the lady just keeeps on callllinnngggg. She just called. And I was like, "Oh my mom's already asleep." And she goes," ....how long has she been asleep?" Seriously. Like I was going to go and get my mom if she was sleeping for only 10 minutes. Sheesh.  That lady drives me nuts.

I got a text. I wonder who it's from. Oh whoa I was wrong! My bifflee =D about the insanely hard calc hw T_T Man that class is insanely confusing.  He's so bad at explaining, and he loses me halfway through because his very lethargic voice makes me zone out for a couple seconds, and then when I tune back in, poopy I'm lost. Hahah.

New topic for once.  I don't know what to be for Halloween.  I kinda wanna dress up, but really don't wanna do thatAlice in Wonderland thing with the other girls.  Cause apparently me and biffle were supposed to be Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum but neither of us wanna do that haha.  Any suggestions??  Nothing toooo complicated.  I don't feel like going out to buy stuff for a costume...>< laziness to the maxx

I'm really really excited.  In about 2 weeks, I get to carry around a plastic baby that'll cry and fuss and coo and I'll have to shove keys into its back to make it shut up and be happy and let me not fail ChildCare.  No sarcasm.  I really am excited-since Nat's baby I wanted one haha.  Then again I am the kid who's wanted a baby since I played with baby dolls...only thing stopping me is  my age. And no spouse. I'll adopt. Could you imagine me with a kid? Dude I'd be like, "oh I need to feed her/him.  Hey look Criminal Minds!" *watchwatchwatchforgetaboutfeedingtimewatchwatchwatch*  I'd be a terrible mother.  Let's hope I mature and have awesome kids. =D

I should totally get back to studying. I've successfully wasted about 10 minutes writing this.  And i really need to sleep before 2 since I have been for the past few days and I don't wanna ruin the streak. Streak. hahaha funny word.

Off to Statsland I go!  Fee Fi Fo Fum!!! We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!!! Follow the goddamn yellow brick road! GET OFF THE GRASS. Aha. Princess Diaries.

Many apologies I felt really random and typed the first things that came to mind. =) I get to watch Bones and Criminal Minds tomorrow after school!  So excited to see what happens this time in CM ^o^ I'm too obsessed with that show....its so good though.

Right. Stats. Econ. Bye bye =)
Tiff out!

I got you under my skinn

~Mirotic, DBSK

It's playing right now haha.  So anyways, today was iffy. Not so great, not so bad.  I think my high is semi-wearing off cause of school.  How depressing is that???

On the bright side, I managed to start my homework at 8 and worked diligently till now!  That's an accomplishment.  I never start hw till around now. =)  I'm getting better!!!

So. Thing with Stranger.  Most of you are in Stats so you know what was going on.  But for those that don't, we were working on a problem today and she had us pair up.  Stranger sits next to me.  Me being me, I usually work on my own, so I started off that way.  And then Deamer discovered the two of us were working alone, and then I have no idea what she said, but then Stranger was like, "Oh, she's mad at me."  So Deamer goes, "I can tell!  Usually there's just an aisle between you two, but today there's, like, an aisle and space!"  So I tuned them out and worked on the Stats problem haha.  But then I get like, peer pressured into sitting with the other awesome girls in my class so we can work together.  And I think some of you had the wrong idea.  I wasn't sitting there to "lead him on," and he knows I wasn't going to work with him.  Pretty sure Deamer wouldn't have made us work together either.  But yea.  Just putting that out there.  I shut him down a few weeks ago, and he knows he has no chance.  He also knows I'm still mad at him and haven't forgiven him, even if I am talking to him a bit more than my total silent treatment.  He's still getting a cold shoulder though.

I'm not totally spineless. Just saying. I think I sound really accusatory. Or is it accusing....screw grammar lol.

Another happy thing- Scoops approved of my entire college essay!  Except for like, 2 grammar things, but those are so easily fixed. This is soooo awesome!!!!!  So I gotta circulate it more, get more feedback, and then I'll be done with 1/2 of one college's app. =)

Keith Urban is a really good artist.  You guys should check him out sometimes.  I told you so, Once in a Lifetime, Tonight I Wanna Cry, Kiss a Girl, all very very good songs!

There's this huge thing with 2ne1.  I don't get whats so great about them..the only song I kinda like from them is "Go Away."  Everything else I really really don't like at all. 2pm fails miserably without Jay. Seriously. Hahaha kudos to Lilly for having that video on her blog.  If you didn't see it, go watch it now.

What else can I talk about?  Dunno. Lol. My inkwell has run dry.  That's quite all right.  Or is it alright..man my grammar is going down the drain.  But yea. I'll post more some other time.  Maybe I should post every other day so I'll have more to write about.....

Did you know that cats shed a helluva lot of fur?! There's these huge clumps on the sofa.  Kinda freaky.  Much love to my cats =)  They make awesome heaters.

Tiff out! ^o^

It's so annoying when words are blanked out on the radio =\

^^ I was listening to Airplanes Part II on the radio, and Eminem's part was like *blank* *blank* a talent show in the gymnasium *blank* etc etc.  Very very frustrating.

Hailooooooooooooooooooooooooo



So really nothing has happened. Since what....Saturday?  Yea....
All-states were yesterday.  Man, all the people who practiced are REALLY REALLY good. Like. REALLY good. No joke.  So its amazing that I managed to keep my seat and not move down.  Then again..we are talking about the top 24 violinists in the state. I'm surprised I even managed to keep my seat. =D  But super happy anyways.

So to answer other people's questions: Josh is my awesome meanie-butt of an older brother.  And awesomely awesome Annie is his gf. I have no idea how she puts up with him hahaha. He's terrible. >.<

All those "awesome" comments make me sound like Barney Stinson. Only I'm not talking about myself....Which reminds me. Ha, Barney.  I killed a spider WITH YOUR FACE. =P  Josh cried in the corner *evil laugh*

Haha I think the after-SAT high is still on.  It's been awesome. Really.  Soooo nice not to worry about them.  But now I have to worry about college apps..which is super depressing.  But that's okay. Writing essays is fun! XD

O.O 4 times?!  Awwwww =(  I'm sorryyyy.  We should make you a bubble that's anti-bee lol

Yea....regarding Stranger....I didn't think he'd do it either. Which is why when the twin was like, wait, but I heard blah blah blah, I was like, "Nahh he wouldn't lie to me!"  So yea.  But he was absent? Really? Interesting....hahahaha.  Yea. I feel totally mean not forgiving him and talking to him, but the sadistic part of me is like,  "Make him suffer. You lost about 10 years off your life for believing him."  >.<


INTERNAL CONFLICTS. They're just so much fun aren't they? They're so loverly. =D My Fair Lady awesome musical. Movie....? ....Thing.

Hahahahah kudos to BaiRen for being awesome.  Even though everyone shunned him for some reason during Nashville....

I should probably start my homework and catching up on schoolwork..that's okay. Criminal Minds is sooo much cooler.

=)

Tiff out! =D

PS.  It's been weird. Finland sounds different on his texts...but maybe it's just me.

Jooosh and Aaaannie

Heylo.

I'M DONE WITH SAT2S. for today. BUT STILL.
They were oooookay.  Not awesome, but not total fail either =D  Let's hope I broke 700 haha

Ha. All you people still taking SATI's. YOU'RE STILL THERE. While I'm home. Waiting for LUNCH. FOOD.  Sorry I think I'm kinda high. Off LOOOOOOOVVVe.  Sorry.

Anyways. So today's marching band home competition!  Good luck guys!!!! =) I sooooo wanna go. But noooo my mom's like NO. YOU CAN'T. But I want to. So. Hopefully if I get violin done and stuff, she'll let me go!  Depending on what time they perform....I can spare like an hour right?????? ^o^ Don't ruin my happy face! haha. I really wanna gooooo =(

Today was goooooood. Finlanddddd =D now that the stress of SATs are over I'm back to super duper happy. I feel like I should forgive stranger and his friend though.  Moving on.

Major violin cramming today. Got allstates tomorrow T_T Kill meeeeeeeee. JK. don't. I like my life right now. So far. I think.

Hope all you other SATers did awesome!!!! =D 

Josh and Annie came home yesterday.  He needs a haircut.  Annie looks awesome like always. Hahaha.  They JUST woke up. Like. Annie probably an hour ago, and Josh only cause I barged into his room and demanded he wake up to take us out to eat lunch. I'm starving.  But this Godiva Dark Chocolate pearls is curbing my roaring stomach for now. Mmmmmmmmm yummy haha.

So yea. This is probably the happiest post in the world. Well for me. So far. I should have more of these from now on!

On the other hand, I'm really traumatized now. Bee near me, I used to just flinch and edge away.  Now? OMG BEE RUN. No joke. I was waiting for my mom outside PHHS after SATs, and BEE GAH RUN.  Oh where'd it go? text text text text te-OMG BEE RUN.  It's so bad now T_T  But their stings hurt like a female dog and itch like no other.  I still have that bite from Wednesday =\

BUT I LOVE YOU BEES BECAUSE GOD CREATED YOU. Psh. No way. I hate you bees. Despite your part in pollination and whatnot.

I'll end this now cause I think Josh got outta the shower and is gonna be ready soon.

FOOD.  ^_^

Tiff out! =D

Cause SATs suck.

I was going to say something else as my title, but I figured some people reading this wouldn't appreciate the language. So I didn't.

I should totally be cramming chem. Really cramming. dude I spent too much time on the less important parts. Man I hate myself sometimes.

Anyways, so there was a bomb threat yesterday. And Christina, IKR!? WHY DO I ALWAYS MISS THE GOOD STUFF. Always. Every time I'm out, theres something awesome happening at school.  Gosh.

And so bomb threat was a major freak out first. For me. So I tried to find out what was happening, and first person I asked if everything was okay at school was stranger. Yes, Val, hairy dude.  Cause he texted me earlierasking if I was okay. So he and some friends decide to be total assholes and tell me that part of the school actually blew up. And people were injured. And Mr. Maullon was severely injured. And people were really hurt. etc. That kinda story. Me being me, and with my great lack of information coming in from the field, I believed the ass.  And so I spent a good hour and a half yesterday flipping out, hoping no one was dying/dead, and texted a bunch of people to make sure my friends were okay.  Of course half of them didnt even respond, and I figured, hey it must be because they left their phones inside.  The people who answered didnt say anyone was hurt, so all's good. So far.  So I'm on FB chat with Alli H and she's like, I heard people were okay, etc. And she's getting info from her friends too.  So I'm really really confused and worried and freaked out and so after about 15 minutes of getting really conflicting info and BaiRen tellin me my friend must be "full of shit," I called the flipping asshole and I figure out he's been lying to me the entire bloody freakin time.  Needless to say I nearly started to cry from relief and also from major pissed off-ness, and I called him an asshole about 50 times, said screw you and hung up.  Asshole.

Anyways, so he said he was sorry and he didn't think I'd actualy believe them, etc etc apologies blah blah.  And his friend messages me on fb too and is like, can't you forgive at least him cause he's so scared that you'll never talk to him again blah blah.  Seriously, they have no idea how bad it hurt that they'd play me like that.

So putting that behind me, I need to study for SAT 2s now. i'm going to fail. seriously. I'm not getting some of the math stuff and chem I never got to begin with. Loverly.

Lets hope I at least break 700. Otherwise I'm screwed.

So yea. That was my mini rant for today. wel yesterday. Same difference.

Tiff out =)

Yay for the 1/2 mile!

Hailoooo

So today we had to run the half mile.  It wasn't soooo bad, just kinda cold. and really long. T_T but for once, I jogged the whole thing!  It helps when all the girls stick together and you kinda need to push yourself to keep up with the group. =)

So besides that and the fact that I'm not sore for once, I got stung by a bee. I'm sure you guys knew that already haha.  I was stupid and ducked/went into half-fetal position when I heard the bee buzzing by my ear.  So my arms went to protect my head, and voila, the bee was right next to my head.  And my wrist was attacking it. So it stung me. Ouch.

It got better after ice and some bee sting serum thinger, but after my 2.5 hour nap today, it kinda puffed up.  Like slightly raised bump? only its not a small bump.  Its about 1 inch long and 1 cm wide. And red. And super super super super itchy.  Besides, that? I'm all good. ^o^

On the other hand, my fiasco with Nat yesterday is doing wonders for my right arm.  Its so painful haha.  When I hit my elbow against anything, it's like a major !@%#*&$ moment.  Hopefully I didn't fracture anything.  I just realized that I injure my elbow a lot....

Today was a pretty good day. Minus the 1.5 hours of sleep thing and being really tired and feeling really sick and then getting stung by a bee, enduring it so I could run the 1/2 mile.

But I'm exhausted and feeling nasty and blah.  I have piano lessons in like 10 minutes. Yay. Fun.

Was I less depressing today? I'd like to think so.

Btdubbs, I'd like to think that I don't completely start over in life and change if I get into a relationship.  I just don't think I'm mature enough.  Not really sure how to describe it...but I feel like I'd put him through hell. Just saying.  But maybe prom. Maybe. That's a huge maybe.

Tiff out =)

Greetings from MARS

^^That was just random. I felt like it haha.

Ohhhhh, my time stamp was totally off.  I was in like..the pacific time zone or something lmfao.

Today was a better day.  Albeit very cloudy and rainy-ish and stuff, but a nice day.  WE DIDNT HAVE TO RUN. That made my day.  But we'll probably run tomorrow. Today. tomorrow. same difference, I'll pretend it's still Tuesday. =P

So I was supposed to rant about Stranger...but I think I ranted everything out yesterday during Spanish.  Basically, chaser chases, chased rejects, rejected is dejected for all of a couple hours so it seems, rejected is back to semichasy it feels like, chased is going crazy. =)

But it's been better. Sorta. Well it's really only been like what. 2 days? Yea. So we'll see.  I didn't fail todays Apple Frog at least! I think....I should probably look over Stats just in case theres another one tomorrow....but too tired. too lazy. I've got an essay due tomorrow that I should really get a move on.  I mean, I have total, 1 paragraph down.  If you combine my half written paragraphs and random sentences.  that's a helluva lot more than I usually do...so I'm proud of myself =D

Moving on, the college process is at a total stand still right now because of SATs and school and it totally sucks. I wanna get them over with asap but the essay portions will take a month most likely. After SATs this weekend, it'll be a massive screw-school-and-homework-college-essays-all-day period.  I wonder if I'll stick to that...or I'll end up watching like. Bones and Criminal Minds all the time. I realized that I skipped a lot of episodes for CM, so I really want to get them done. Did I mention how much I love Criminal Minds despite the random bouts of paranoia I get from the episodes?  It's so awesome to watch and see them profile people.  Not to mention Reid is hot in a geeky way. haha. ♥ much love to Matthew Gray Gubler!

I know a bunch of you say I should just go for it and take the next step with Finland, but I don't know if I'm ready.  Honestly, I'm still really really immature and I can't balance my social and work life very well.  As proved by my super crappy grades so far >.<  That aside, there's also his own work. He's a junior; he needs to kinda focus on grades and not on the fact that his friend likes him. If it turns out badly, I don't need him failing cause I was stupid and selfish...

Oh wow I almost totally forgot I was working on an essay.  I should probably get back to my procrastinate-write-procrastinate-write routine.  Yea.  I'll leave you with an awesome moment from Criminal Minds. Well, it is to me. Maybe it's more effective if you actually watched the episode...but its a funny moment nonetheless.

Hotch: This is Special Agent Dr. Reid.
Man: Oh, you look too young to have gone to medical school.
Reid: They're Ph.D.'s, three of them.
Man: What, are you a genius or something?
Reid: I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute. [silence] Yes, I'm a genius.

Oh man you have to watch that part. you can find it on youtube just search "yes i'm a genius"

Criminal Minds is awesome.

Tiff out =)

I don't wanna fall out, but we're all out of time

~Sam Tsui, Kurt Hugo Schneider "Don't Want An Ending"

So like my post from yesterday said, I had a calc quiz today. Which I seriously bombed. No joke.  Not one of those "omg I FAILED!" "What do you mean, you got a B+!" kind of things.  Like. D and below fail.  I just...didn't know how to do the problems. And I supposed it's my own fault. Not understanding it and not working harder I guess.  It just really annoys me that I'm supposed to be getting this stuff.  But obviously for some reason, I'm not. I mean, this stuff  happens to me every year.  The do-bad-first-mp-but-by-the-end-of-it-i'll-still-pull-off-a-b+-orA- kinda thing.  But it's never been this bad. Seriously?  I know senioritis is like "the thing" of senior year, but I'm still working.  Maybe not as hard as I should be, but I'm still hanging in there.  And it's driving me nuts that it's not producing anything.

I also managed to fail my Apple-Frog in Stats.  I knew the answer, too. I just second-guessed myself and was like NO ITS SIMPSON PARADOX. Of course. I would.

So today was crappy. Really bad. I've lost the motivation to keep writing. Maybe I'll write more later.


-----Edit Oct 4, 2010, 2042 hours
So I'm back. And I realized that my blog is really all whining and complaining and ranting and depression. Hopefully it won't always be. I'm attempting not to let all that stuff interfere with school now, so I won't be so stressed or mess up so much, but that's gonna be hard.

Time to get back to Lahiri. Her stuff is pretty awesome, but I still have yet to read Interpreter of Maladies...hopefully its just as good as A Temporary Matter.

Sonya is a GENIUS.

Hailo peoples.  So Sonya came up with the GENIUS idea that we should all blog and stuff so we don't fall outta contact with each other after we graduate.  SO SMART.

So I'll start now and make it a habit, or I'll never get it done and then 5 months after we head off for college in who knows how many different states and miles and miles away from each other, I'll never talk to you people again except for the occasional "Hey! What's up? We haven't talked in a while" on facebook.  Which will be really sad cause I grew up with you guys.

Suppose I'll talk a bit about the weekend.  I got 8 hours of sleep these last two nights, so I'm actually functioning.  I studied for my SAT2s which I won't get above 750 anyways, even though I need to get at least a 770+ for my major. Or intended fields of study or whatever you call it.  And yay, senioritis. I can't bring myself to care so much.

I think I'm just really scared I'll never get anywhere with my inability to push myself, you know?  I don't really work until its 1 am and I'm really tired and I have to wake up at 630am to catch the bus and I need to sleep at last 3 hours to function the next day and there's no way I'll get all this stuff done in the next 2 hours even though I'll be working my butt off and then by the time I get to bed it'll actually be around 430 am and I'll die the next day and pass out in every class...and you get the point.  So to be a vet, or actuarist, I'll need to push myself. For real. Not the "OMG LETS CRAM CAUSE I WASTED SO MUCH TIME" kind of pushing myself.  But apparently I really can't break outta that habit which is killing me. literally and figuratively.

I'm attempting to study for the Calc quiz tomorrow, and trying to learn that rate of change thing with limits? Unfortunately, for the first few days of school, I was completely smashed in the morning. Well, that's not the right way to say it.  I was staring and seeing, but definitely not processing anything that was happening between blocks A-C.  Which is really bad cause now I have to learn this weird ass thing in 1.1 that's probably actually not really all that hard, but me being the idiot that I am cannot figure it out for the life of me.

I realized I'm writing huge run-on sentences.  That's okay. THIS IS MY BLOG AND I'LL DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT WITH IT. >.< sorry Seoyoung if you read this XD I'm developing a potty mouth (coughchildcaregroupcough).

Maybe I'll get used to this blogging thing.  It's quite fun.  Just kinda worried about what I say...my last blogging experience wasn't so great and I got turned off of these things for a few years....

Yay for being seniors; we have a couple months left and we're almost free! Well..sorta free...

Boo for people who don't get the freakin hint sometimes. Not talkin about you, whoever's reading this, (most likely), but yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I should get back to studying.  Not that saying that really means anything cause I'll probably end up doing something else first. Boo to procrastination sometimes too. XP

Love ya'll. XOXO Tiff